


if we go into the darkness

by Felurian



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (for the villain only!), (kinda), Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Evil, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Badass Finn, Character Death, F/M, Force-Sensitive Finn, Hurt/Comfort, Prince Finn, Sith Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 20:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11859396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felurian/pseuds/Felurian
Summary: There are times, when Finn sits on his throne, embroidered cape heavy on his shoulders and golden circlet resting on his head, that he wonders. Wonders what would it be like if things were different, if he never went against Ren and took away his kingdom, even if it rightfully belonged to him in the first place. Would his conscience be clearer then, less blood covering his hands and less suffering left behind him? Or would it only be worse, as he’d be forced to watch people he loves die by the hands of those he despises, his name on their lips as a distraught plea for help? Would people still hiss “traitor” upon his sight, hidden in the shadows, or maybe they’d yell “coward” right into his face, plunging a vibroblade between his ribs?In the end, none of it matters, though, because he’ll never know. It may plague his dreams, the doubt whether he made the right decision, but it’s still his burden to bear, one that he chose for himself, and he’s willing to take it. Even more so with Rey by his side.Or, how the Space Royalty Finn takes back his planet from the hands of Kylo Ren and Snoke with his Sith Enforcer Rey.





	if we go into the darkness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spookykingdomstarlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookykingdomstarlight/gifts).



> this is a little bit of a mash-up between the prompts, i chose to tie together the evil AU and prince finn AU since i love both of those. it's not truly evil evil, but it's still somewhere in those areas. hope you enjoy it! <3

There are times, when Finn sits on his throne, embroidered cape heavy on his shoulders and golden circlet resting on his head, that he wonders. Wonders what would it be like if things were different, if he never went against Ren and took away his kingdom, even if it rightfully belonged to him in the first place. Would his conscience be clearer then, less blood covering his hands and less suffering left behind him? Or would it only be worse, as he’d be forced to watch people he loves die by the hands of those he despises, his name on their lips as a distraught plea for help? Would people still hiss “traitor” upon his sight, hidden in the shadows, or maybe they’d yell “coward” right into his face, plunging a vibroblade between his ribs?

 

In the end, none of it matters, though, because he’ll never know. It may plague his dreams, the doubt whether he made the right decision, but it’s still his burden to bear, one that he chose for himself, and he’s willing to take it. Even more so with Rey by his side.

 

Her faith in Finn never wavers, which is something that astonishes him to this day. Through blood and tears, through betrayals and duels, she’s always been next to him, ready to strike down anyone who stood in their way with her sizzling, red blade. He knows she’d sacrifice her life for him, as he’d do for her — not that she would ever let him, always on the lookout for any danger, for a Ren’s sympathizer that would like to see him dead.

 

Finn remembers the night of the coup all too well, and the crippling fear of losing each other that he felt then still visits him during the night sometimes, when he wakes with a dying scream in the back of his throat, the image of her lifeless body being thrown on the floor behind his lids.

* * *

 

The battle is a slaughter. Streets are covered with soldiers that went down during the fight, and the air is filled with the unmistakable stench of blood and fired blasters, sense of death almost overshadowing everything else around. Finn knows he should feel victorious as the X-wings roar over his head, hunting down remaining enemy ships and the only thing standing between him and taking over the kingdom is the palace, but he doesn’t. Instead, he feels fatigue washing over him in waves, his limbs heavy at his sides, eyes tired in the glint of his blue saber.

 

Before him lays general’s Hux motionless body and the urge to plunge the blade deep into his chest is almost overwhelming but somehow, he resists it. He wants nothing more than to see this man, who brought so much pain and suffering upon this planet and many others, die, but Finn also feels like it’s not enough of a punishment for him. No, Hux needs to stand trial and rot away in prison for all the things he’s done. Killing him would be mercy, and that’s not something he deserves.

 

None of them deserve mercy.

 

With the corner of his eye, he notices that a squad led by Rey has managed to get through the barricade and enter the palace. The night before the attack, as they carefully went over the plans aboard Rebellion’s home ship, she begged him to stay behind, saying that it’s too dangerous for him, the rightful heir to the throne, to storm the palace, but the fear in her dark eyes was not for the heir, but for Finn — just him, not a Force-wielder, not a royalty, just Finn.

 

He doesn’t listen to her, of course, and follows her trail, motioning to his escort to go with him.

 

They pass through chambers that had clearly already seen the battle, the interiors destroyed, palace guards as well as rebel soldiers sprawled on the floor. Finn’s heart is beating wildly in his chest as they move forward in search of Rey’s squad and when they step in front of the throne room, he swears that his heartbeat stops for a second. From inside come the sounds of fired blasters and screams, but the one thing that his ears focus on is the sound of clashing lightsabers.

 

He doesn’t hesitate as he pushes the giant doors open with help of one of the soldiers. Finn freezes for a second after stepping into the environment that is so familiar, yet completely different now — once grandeur throne room, filled with sparkling crystals and Rylothian art, has been turned into a regular battlefield — and in the middle of it, among the fighting soldiers, stand Rey and Kylo Ren, their red blades straining against each other, faces distorted in hatred.

 

It’s clear that Ren stands no chance against her, as they twirl around each other, sabers crashing with sparks flying in every direction. They both may have had the same mentor once, but it’s obvious who’s the more gifted one, the Force guiding Rey’s every move, her strikes fluid but aggressive, forcing Ren to retreat a step back every time she lunges at him.

 

Only that suddenly, she hesitates. Finn can see her stance falter for a moment, and he’s hit with the morbid realization that it must because of him — she must have sensed him through the Force when he entered the room, there’s no other explanation.

 

This split-second of her imbalance is enough for Ren. He lurches forward and successfully disarms her, knocking the saber’s hilt out of her hand with his own blade. Terror grips at Finn’s heart as he watches, helpless, as Ren throws her into the air with the Force and through the room, her body landing meters further with a horrid crack of broken bones.

 

“REY!”

 

Finn starts running towards her motionless body the second she hits the floor. Barely few steps away, a shadow stands before him, blocking the way. He looks up, livid, right into the face of Kylo Ren.

 

“Move,” he growls through gritted teeth, his chest hurting with worry, but hand already on his own saber.

 

Ren scoffs, circling him, the ominous red blade pointed right at Finn.

 

“You should have never come back here,” he says coldly. The light of his weapon allows Finn to see him better up close, the scar across his face left there by Rey more prominent.

 

“You should have never let me escape, then,” Finn replies, igniting his lightsaber. Its soft light fills up the room.

 

Rage flashes in Ren’s eyes then.

 

“You shall join your Sith soon enough,” he almost spats out, “ _traitor._ ”

 

With that, he strikes.

 

Finn is already prepared for this move and blocks it with ease, their sabers clashing. Ren doesn’t seem surprised and steps back, twirling his saber before he lunges at him again, more aggressively this time.

 

So their dance begins — neither of them truly gaining the upper hand in this fight, moving through the room as the soldiers fight right next to them. In other situation, perhaps, Finn would feel fear having to duel Kylo Ren but not now, not when he’s seen Rey fly to the ground, unconscious. There are anger and the need for revenge burning inside him and while he never believed in Dark or Light sides of the Force — never was taught to separate them — he can sense it now, the darkness fuelling his strength. He pushes forward, swinging his blade at Ren time after time, forcing him to slowly retreat backward, towards the throne.

 

Finn thinks of Rey laying under the column. He recalls her image during the countless fights he’s seen her participate in, the fury flashing yellow in her dark eyes, the elegance of her brutal moves. He thinks of those rare moments of softness, too, as she laughed with him and other Rebels in the late evening hours, as she held his hand when they were flying towards the battle, her gaze filled with love.

 

He brings his saber down on Ren, cutting deep through his arm. It’s enough to make him stumble and Finn realizes that this is it — this is the moment where he has to decide what to do.

 

 _I could spare him_ , he thinks. _I could spare him and imprison him, make him spend the rest of his life paying for what he’s done._

 

 _I_ should _spare him._

 

Calm, he plunges the blade deep into Ren’s chest. His eyes widen as he slowly sinks down to the ground, dropping his lightsaber which hits the floor with a dull clank. The battle around them stops.

 

“You...”

 

Finn watches as life slowly leaves him.

 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. There’s a hint of surprise of Kylo Ren’s paling face. “I’m sorry for doing this to your mother.”

 

He deactivates his own saber and throws it to the ground, leaving his body in the darkness. He doesn’t look back as he runs towards Rey with a heavy heart, expecting the worst, his mind still torn after killing his enemy.

 

He drops to his knees next to her, hesitantly placing his fingers of her neck. When Finn senses a pulse underneath them — weak, but steady — he lets out a breath of relief.

 

“It’s over, Rey,” he murmurs, brushing away strands of hair from her face, careful not to touch her body so he doesn’t worsen her injuries. “It’s finally over.”

 

He lets out a sob among the fallen soldiers.

* * *

 

Her recovery should have been a long one, but Rey has always been strong — she goes back to his side barely few days after they have seized full control over the planet, all donned up in her black robes and her trusty saber dangling from her utility belt. It’s almost as if nothing ever changed, even though everything did, along with Finn’s conscience, the weight of the choices he’s made coming to haunt him every day.

 

He wonders whether, on that fateful evening, which has changed the fate of this kingdom forever, he should have dealt the fatal blow to Kylo Ren. Whenever he looks at Leia, and she smiles at him wistfully over the table during a briefing, Finn feels a pang of ache in his chest and forces himself to retreat his gaze, ashamed to face her. She didn’t say a thing, didn’t yell, only nodded when she had learned about her child's death, as if she was expecting it for a long time, but Finn still feels torn about his choice when he faces her. Even though he’s always seen her as the fearless leader, there was also something motherly in the way she acted towards him, and it makes him sick to know he’s the one who took her son away from her.

 

Even if it was Snoke who did it first.

 

It’s Rey and Poe who first notice his struggles and truly, he’s not surprised that it would be them. At first, they’re both hesitant approaching him about this subject, giving him his space to deal with it, and Finn’s way to deal with it is to throw himself in work. There’s a lot to be done, a long road for the kingdom that’s been terrorized over years to get back to normal, especially since there’s still many of Ren and Snoke’s sympathizers on the planet, and Finn lets himself live those affairs. He can’t allow for a moment of weakness, can’t bring down the people he promised to free from the rule of the tyrants.

 

After one of the meetings, Poe corners him and proposes a break from all the politics, but Finn basically flees away, knowing all too well that he would want to talk about that. He manages to avoid this subject masterfully, always busy, over-working himself as he tries to glue back together what has been destroyed.

 

Until one night, Rey who finally helps him confront the reality of the choice he has made.

* * *

 

He enters his sleeping chamber — one of the few that has not been touched by the battle and one that is relatively comfortable — exhausted after the day filled with political jargon and negotiations with neighbouring planets that were in a state of war with Ren, ready for the sleep to take him, even if it brings nightmares, when he notices that there’s already someone inside. Finn tenses for a moment before he senses the familiar presence and, sure enough, there on his bed sits Rey, with her knees tucked underneath her chin.

 

“Hi,” he says quietly and she nods, her expression serious.

 

“Hi.”

 

For a while, Finn just stands there, nervous and a little ashamed because he knows he’s been avoiding her outside of official meetings. She looks at him expectantly, however, and with a sigh he sits next to her, their shoulders brushing against each other.

 

“I don’t remember the first man I killed,” Rey speaks up, suddenly, her gaze focused on the wall in front of her, brows scrunched. He startles but doesn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.

 

“It must have been after Jakku and I suppose it must have been one of Snoke’s troopers. I don’t really remember them, though. I don’t know if they had a family, if anyone was waiting for them to return or if they deserved to die. I just knew it was them or me, so I killed them.”

 

Finn remembers the first man he killed very well. He was fleeing the palace’s prison after helping Poe out of his cell and they were running for their lives, towards the landing pad so they could steal a ship. A couple of Snoke’s troopers cornered them — there was no choice but to shoot.

 

The first man he killed might have been his friend for all he knows, his face hidden by a mask as he shot him.

 

“Then, I got used to it,” Rey continues. “It was always either me or them or the people that I care about. Didn’t seem like I ever had another choice, really.”

 

She turns to face him, then, her dark eyes soft, no hint of the yellow that sometimes floods them showing.

 

“What I mean to say, Finn, is that I’d probably never second-guess killing Ren. I would do it a thousand times for all that he’s done. I know I shouldn’t say it because Leia has always been so good to us, but it’s true. I’m glad that he’s dead.”

 

Finn swallows and attempts to smile, but it turns out to look more like a grimace.

 

“You’re a good man, Finn,” she says and takes his hand in hers, squeezing it. “A better person than I’ll ever be.”

 

“That’s not true, you—”

 

She shakes her head and cuts him off, “You know it is. I am what I am, I’ve made my choices and I’m good with that. So did you. But Finn... You need to know, that none of your choices make you a bad man. They might be difficult, yes, but you made them all for the greater good. You’re the best person I’ve ever known.”

 

He stays quiet for a moment, watching her with amazement. Finn doesn’t really know how to feel about her words — he can’t bring himself to quite believe them yet, but he feels like a part of the weight on his chest has been lifted off. He smiles and inches towards her, cupping her face in his hands before he leans in and places a soft kiss on her lips.

 

“I love you,” he whispers against her skin, as Rey wraps her arms around him. She grins.

 

“I know.”

* * *

 

For others, he’s the King, but also many other things — the traitor, the Force-sensitive royal who saved them, the guardian. He accepts all of the titles, even though he wants none but his name. They’re something that he chose to bear through his actions, however, and that’s why he no longer winces upon hearing them. As long as Rey stands beside him, he’s ready to take it all.

 

They call her many things, too — his bodyguard, his assassin, his Sith, or even the King’s Wrath, but Rey is so much more to him. She’s his strength, his trusted friend, his companion through the good and the bad; most importantly to Finn, however, in the intimacy of their chambers, she’s no one else but a simple girl, who happens to love him just like he loves her.

 

The people might remember them as the Force-wielders who changed the course of history, but for the few calm moments in the morning, they’re no one else but just Finn and Rey. Even if only for themselves.


End file.
